"now you all 'bell hooksian' and shit"
rip to a true legend
rip to the legend bell hooks who on many an occasion inspired me to keep living, no cap.
whether it was the will to change, all about love, or teaching community, she was the only author who made me laugh, cry, whisper “damn” to myself, and tell all my homeboys to read her to deconstruct programmed toxic patterns. how she loved taught me how to love and, more importantly, to ask "why do i connect with people this way?”
her politics, vulnerability, and penchant for seeing the humanity in everyone affected me in such a way that it influences almost all my decisions these days. any character i write with levels of complexity is due to her. any tough conversation that i’ve had (or am yet to have), the strength to do so came from her. when i’m vibing with the homies, building community, or trying to mentor and support friends, that love, fearless vulnerability, and honesty was only given a framework due to her.
bell hooks was a blueprint for my personal growth and for the edification of so many people i call close friends today and this loss is a gut punch for sure but as long as we love loudly, care openly, and share the gift of vulnerability with one another across any and all lines, i believe she will exist in all of those interactions. ❤️✨
living outside the margins of a white cis-heteropatriarchal ableist society takes a toll and isn’t something to be done alone. i’m no stranger to being but into extremely limiting and stereotypical boxes but this quote always pulls me through, reminding me we all truly can be free of that:
“i will not have my life narrowed down. i will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone else's ignorance.”
i spent years in a lonely place, keeping emotional distance from many people under the guise of protecting them, protecting me, or even just because i didn’t believe i deserved connection. then i picked up some bell hooks books for the first time since college and the words stuck to my ribs in a way i didn’t expect. i learned that being alone and being alone meant two different things with this quote:
“knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. when we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.”
finally, change feels damn near impossible in a world where we are in lockstep with the systems and social programming that continue to pummel the downtrodden and punish victims of senseless prejudices day after day. to see someone’s humanity is to see their complexity and in an increasingly reactive and individualized society, the time to see another’s humanity before assigning narratives seems to be the first thing to be sacrificed. “i’ve been harmed and i’ve harmed;” that’s the reality of the human experience. we all can’t be right because then there’d be no problems. no one wants to be wrong because then we’re the problem. but the truth is often an ebb and flow between black and white, grey. this quote always reminded me that we’re all just trying to deprogram, reprogram, and survive and that’s what connects us:
“forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?”
thank you, bell hooks. rest in peace and power 🙏🏾