“co-star? more like cointelpro-star”
shout out to dr. aviva neff, empahsis on the “DOCTOR” 🔥
shout out to kyra, who’s in the room i’m in now. it’s very nice to have someone to bounce industry anxiety off of and just talk shit too 🙏🏾
shout out both zahir (and erica) and bethany (and keith) for having bouncing beautiful bundles of baby last month. real goo goo gah gah shit 👶🏽👶🏻
big ups poppy for finishing first in the women’s nyc triathlon 🏊🏽♀️🚴🏽♀️🏃🏾♀️
shout out simone biles, i’m so proud of you for making a stand and doing what’s best for you and not what anyone in this flop ass country thinks about you doing elegant parkour tricks for them while they fart into a couch in their basement 🤸🏿♂️
big ups to my pops who is trying to vacation in his retirement 🌱
big ups suni lee, didn’t know much about you but putting on for your peoples is a universal joy that i felt when i saw your family cheering you on. delete tf out of socials when you get home, it ain’t worth it 🤸🏽♂️
shout out the flying rats f.c. for doing my insane practices and banging in goals ⚽️
to the qatari and italian high jumpers who both split gold: that shit was wild classy, and well deserved both of you 🥇🥇
miriam and rama are coming back!!!!
shout out frimmy, the hug you gave me felt real af bro, missed you too ✊🏾
shout out amelia and jordan for being my severely neuroatypical family and allowing me to be part of their wedding 😭
pauly and lucas. that’s it, y’all niggas are hilarious and I always love catching up with you 🔥
big ups leah and jordana for teaching me how to vacation by just…doing…it…🌱
shout out the bbq gang who hit up my housewarming, specifically the glizzy team, y’all were working that grill 🌭🌭🌭
big ups camryn, my mentee!!! your script is great, girl!! ❤️❤️
shout out to film independent for launching the amplifier fellowship for black artists including me bud i’m honored to be listed with elegance bratton, contessa gayles, haley anderson, huriyyah muhammand, and mel jones 🙏🏾
fuck michael che for being a bargain bin black contrarian who always finds his way to the wrong take. sometimes, white women be wylin but by god do you be draggin it, y’all leave simone biles alone. 🚫
shout out to ME. this is the one year anniversary of being off social media and i’m more alive because of it. the passively voyeuristic nature of likes, retweets, dm slides, and messiness is not conducive to conversation, change, or genuine human connection. cutting this gmo humanity out and going organic saved my life. the anxiety is still there but no social diet is completely healthy, right?
as always, shout out to mi novia maria, te amo muchismo ❤️❤️❤️
and here’s s photo of mikey and ana’s adorable baby and my niece
ted lasso - if you haven’t watched season 1 of ted lasso, throw your laptop at your nearest window and then go retrieve it i'm sorry for giving you bad advice and watch season one front to back. multiple times, your boy had tears in his eyes. football is life, it’s been a minute since i heard someone call someone else a bellend, and jason sudeikis, hannah waddingham, juno temple, and toheeb jimoh have all got lifelong fans in me. the show creates a space to dissect parts of male and female relationships with each other and themselves and manages a consistently charming and introspective tone. roy kent hive for life, keep growing my g ⚽️
new age of empire - kehinde andrews
summer of soul - questlove
djeliya - juni ba
this is also the one-year anniversary of finishing a gaslighting recovery program where i learned so much about myself, my poor boundaries, not standing up for myself, and the road to recovery from various narcissists in my life. i went to coda, i went to healing sessions, i was radically honest with myself and i wrote a 54 page document about, well, everything.
you too can free yourself from narcissists (overt and covert) in your life by beginning to explore who they are and why they are. part of it is definitely the world around you but there often are deeply rooted things within us that are being exacerbated to twist our insecurities and anxieties.
this book is a good starting place. if you don’t have the funds to get this book and you need help, contact me directly and we’ll see if we can work something out 🌱
as a sample, here’s a page from the book that put me on my ass for maybe a week.
this time, we doing it a little different.
it's no secret that i have a lot of thoughts, however, sometimes it's much better to just have a conversation with someone who you care for deeply about something you know you both experienced and let a more natural conversation flow. that's exactly what happened when i got to talk to the big homie mars about what began as a critique of a very specific artist but turned into a more nuanced discussion of the trials and tribulations of being a black and creative young person, what’s missing from the culture, white shenanigans, and make some more buzzwords that twitter will steal from us and not credit us
cosmetic wokeness (noun): the act of performing in social justice discourse and identity peacocking without any basis in doing the work, engaging in theory, sharing of resources, etc; putting on the social justice makeup to get ahead just to have it taken off later revealing the clown makeup under it.
conditional white love (noun) - the caucasian adoration of (a) being a token marginalized person, (b) being an exceptional (q)bipoc, and/or (c) an outspoken voice for justice characterized by that adoration being stripped away the moment the subject (a) challenges the norm “too much,” (b) does not hold up to white liberal or conservative models of purity and piety, (c) discontinues putting up with white nonsense, calling out individuals and systems, and/or (d) does not perform to a white’s standards.
we’ll dive into these on different episodes in the future! but for now, the one, the only, wickedly talented mars sebastien ❤️❤️❤️
gimme bugs bunny and pop smoke on a drill track or this space jam is trash
if you try tried to take the flooded subway to catch the 6 train, don’t worry about what’s in the vaccine
lgbtqi-ayyyyyyyyyy
doctors and apples: top 10 anime battles
yo how did popeye put shirts on with his brolic ass forearms, ol never skip forearms ass cartoon
mila and ashton made me look at every white person like they’re pigpen
popeye definitely says the n-word, can’t tell me different
start referring to ex-police officers as “ex-gang members “
where’s judy winslow
dababy should’ve shut dafuckup
there is only one scam goddess and it is laci mosley, everyone else is an imitator
black af1 music all summer ‘21
they should’ve cast a black snow white just to get under people’s skin
new nickname: peloton don
who invented the word “spelunk” lmaooo are you for real
*roast hand* this nigga spelunking
nick cannon gotta have steph curry sperm because this nigga don’t miss
new term for white women who are aggravating: “alabastresses”
brits being racist? nah, no way
type of weather that’s about to make me into a nigga who carries a parasol
cryptocurrency implies the existence of bryptocurrency
i wanna be linda ellerbee so fkin bad
i hope they give that victoria secret black lady unlimited panties,” when you’re here we’re family” vibes
i’ve been talking to my therapist val about my relationship to anger. i’m scared to be mad. being mad = being dead (in many different ways) for so many black people and while that’s not necessarily going to happen to me, it’s still something i’m trying to learn to engage with it in healthy ways. i’ve never exacted violence or revenge because it’s not what I believe in but I also am a human being in a black body who has had too many mfs test me and I owe plenty of fades.
the simmering anger is better than letting the pot boil over and i channel this angry energy into my work but there are persistent frustrations that i am entitled to being justifiably angry about. as I navigate allowing myself to be mad again, i’ll share my methods for processing anger here through letters i write to them.
dear d****,
stop texting me asking for shit. emotional, physical, mental space with no friendship down payment or homie credit? foh with that. lord knows all i wanna do is help the homies but boundaries are mf boundaries. fall back g
dear [redacted],
you might not remember this but you are one of the few people in the world gets me out of my place of zen and back to the angriest moment of my life. you should just walk away for me next time you see me because chances are i have a great day until i saw you. is the day that i found out someone that i care for for the last eight years of my life died by suicide, you spent your time in a space where we were supposed to be mourning him policing me.
you followed me from person to person making your presence known and making me feel crazy. you’re very vividly asking me “how did you know _____?” not knowing that i had known him for years and not only that i knew that he did not like you very much and you made him feel uncomfortable. in moments like those, i am entitled to grieve and any outburst would be chalked up to “misplaced grief emotions” but i am burdened by how i would be perceived if i punched you so hard in the face that i knocked you clean out ya reeboks. instead of acting upon that impulse, i chose to walk away, allowing a space for all of my other friends to grieve while i was to go do it on my own. i own that choice but to this day i regret it.
i do not get out of my way for anything however i saw you recently and you stared me down with that same scrutinous intensity. all of a sudden i was right back where i was approximately three years ago seething with anger. and this time, i almost did it again but, again, we were separately celebrating a mutual friend and i would never put my own feelings out to ruin a friend’s night. you’ll probably never read this and that’s ok but just know that’s what happens a third time, well, i’m not in a position to hesitate again.
making a promise for posterity: i will keep having difficult conversations not just for my own peace but for everyone’s. i’m done beating around the bush to preserve fake peace.
the next one will have more fire fi yah head top. thanks for reading loosies.